We are still in Beta.

I’m going to school. Multnomah Bible University to be exact. I feel God is calling me to attend and begin learning what a University has to say about Pastoral Ministry. Whether or not I stay and finish 4 years their for a Pastoral Ministry Degree or not is completely up to him. As for now I must say I am very excited. The college has approximately 600 undergrads and 260 postgraduates. I will be living on campus and will continue to work at Next Adventure, God will and schedule willing.

I’m very very excited about this and yet I am nervous at the same time. I don’t have the money figured out. I don’t really know if I want to be a pastor. I don’t know anyone there. I don’t know if I can handle going to school full time and trying to work at Next Adventure as much as possible. I don’t know if I will be able to handle a year at school and work while Annie is all the way across the state. But… BUT… I have faith. Faith that God will provide for me. Provide strength, peace, determination, and the funds to go. Faith that he will grow Annie and my relationship and faith that I have chosen the right path. Faith.

So if you would all join me in prayer it would be amazing. Pray that God will continue to lead me and guide me on this wonderful journey called life. Pray that I will not worry. And, pray that I will grow in faith.

Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

Matthew 6:25-34

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

P.S. Everytime I go to quote Matthew 6:25-34 I always want to just use part… but I can’t help but be in awe of it all as a passage together. I love it.

The worst part about riding 10 mile each way… isn’t the unexpected downpours… or the time it takes…. or how tiring it is…. but it’s having to pee 5 miles in. 5 miles in is the worst part cause you really have no choice but to keep going. Heck it’s just as bad realizing it 1 mile from leaving… I mean really there is no choice. I can’t just pull into a resteraunt or anything.. unless I have a bike lock so I am forced to bike… yet if I bike faster…. I have to pee more… and if I bike slower.. it takes longer… AHHHH…. pretty soon you are ready to explode and just find yourself counting 1 . . 2 . . 3 . . 4 . . just to get your mind off it. So ya… the worst part about biking 10 miles… is having to pee part way in.

And then I realized that God was sitting right next to me, on the night-train to the inner-city streetlights, talking on his cellphone to his son, like any other father come home from a day at the office - the kind with fluorescent lights and cubicles. …I guess he does some sort of counseling thing - or at least that’s what he told me when I asked him if wanted some gum….didn’t ever know God liked Juicy Fruit…. He told me he spends 168 hour weeks telling people that their problems are his problems, and he loves it. So I took a side look at him like I looked at the guy who was yelling something about hell and damnation through this bullhorn in Time Square, and asked him if he was crazy, or just didn’t know any better. And he laughed - he just laughed….said he just has this thing for people…..and I told him that was alright, if you like it - no one argues with a man who wants to do his part…. And he laughed again and told me about the other work he does…I guess the Universe needs hedge-trimming once in a while…… And then he asked me my name…. And he said, “Tell me about yourself. I want to know it all.” So I gave him my life - bit of a story, too…… He tells me his kid is doing well.

written by Josh Gilman

October 11, 2009

I’m currently sitting at the Seattle Seatac airport and my plane boards in 45 minutes. That’s right. I’m off to Europe. My plane leaves at 4:30 and I won’t be back to Vancouver until May 13th at 5:30am. Till then read all about my travels at www.zippee.info I’ll try and update as much as possible. Till then, see ya!

I shouldn’t be allowed to drive.

Really I shouldn’t. Despite the fact that I’m a very bad driver I have this bad habit of being distracted to easily. It’s ok though… it’s not my fault; it’s Gods.

Yes. That’s right. God!

For example tonight when driving Riley to his girlfriends house I kept having to remind myself to look at the road and not out over the beautiful lake at the bright pink and orange and red pastel sunset.

Or take when I have a really really good day for example. Obviously if I’ve had a really good day I can hardly control myself, and when I crank that worship music super loud and start singing along I can’t help but close my eyes and praise God…. WOOPS! Better open them!

Then there are the animals of the wild that I can’t help but be excited about. Just the other day while driving home from Cameron and Kate’s wedding I happened to see a coyote running across the road. So what did I do? I followed it for as long as I could!

What else? Oh the STARS! How many times have I been distracted by the amazing display of shining, twinkling lights vividly displayed up in the sky along with a picturesque moon? More than I can count.

There are rivers, and trees, clouds, rain, rainbows, really windy days I just have to roll the windows down for, sunrises, sunsets and countless other things. But none of these compare to the biggest distraction God has given me.

The most beautiful, lovely, wonderful, amazing thing in the world happens to be what sits right next to me every once in a while when I drive.

This can be none other than her, my girlfriend, Annie.

I just decided God is an amazingly fast sketch artist.

Look at it this way. Video is multiple frames moving fast enough for our brains to render them as motion. That’s how stop motion animation works. You take a picture, then another, then another, and another, each time barely moving the object or the picture you’ve drawn. Then when played back at 24 frames per second or faster your brain runs it together as motion. So I believe all God is doing is sketching life at 24 fps or faster. Every time someone moves, every time something shifts, or a car pulls away from a stop sign, God is redrawing that picture.  Think about it. Then think about this, the wind you feel… that’s God’s breath, when he’s rushing and doesn’t want the ink to smear; he blows on his picture. Once it dries he draws the next picture and it takes the place of the previous one.

This also happens to explain why some days feel slower than others, and some days feel faster than others. The slow days are when God has hand cramps and has to slow down. Basically our world, our movie is running at less than 24 fps. The fast days is when God is whipping out those images at a super high frame rate.  Of course, the more you move the faster he has to draw and thus the faster the day goes, and thus why your movement causes the day to go by faster.
With that said I believe God is an amazingly fast sketch artist, and the beauty in the world really comes when humans rest enough for him to put beauty in the world. When we slow down, he can elaborate; paint sunsets, draw rainbows, and add color and sensation.

So, next time you want a beautiful day. Slow down. It will help God out!

I’m going to Europe. That is exciting. I feel God has been calling me to do this for a while now and finally the plans are set. The plane ticket is bought, I’m getting ready to go. I’ve been focused recently on what I need to bring. I keep thinking ” I need this. No I don’t. Do I need that? Maybe.” Yet, I realize it is less important to think about what I need to bring physically as what I need to bring in my heart. This trip has been about connection with God and trusting his strength. I need to allow myself to be willing to do that, and not put so much security in what I bring. This trip will work out, because of God, just like everything else in my life has. So, with that said, I hope I can trust God more with this trip.

Dear God, allow me to give up my feeble attempts to control this trip. I want to feel secure and safe but honestly I have no control over that, you do. Please give me the wisdom, peace and strength to trust you.

As I biked home last night in the not so softly falling rain; while wearing my bright orange snow pants as rain pants, and a bright yellow running jacket for visibility; in the glow of ever present overhead city lights, I heard a magical sound. I was coasting down the street, no hands on my handlebars as this sound began to ring, and literally it rang. See, as I bike home after work sometimes I am so lucky as to pass a Catholic Church around 8 o’clock. This is a wonderful and special occasion because it means that I get to hear these beautiful bells ring out across the dark night sky. This night in particular I was actually several blocks before the church when I began to hear the ringing. And it continued up until I passed the church when the last bell tolled and echoed with reverberation into the night. (Granted it did not echo quite like other nights, see rain is not so conducive to reverberations. Bright clear and cold nights on the other hand literally hum for blocks with the sound of the last bell.)

All that is to say that they are beautiful bells. Every time I pass them as the ring I am amazed at the splendor of the bells, amazed at the beauty of them, and amazed that they can be heard for several city blocks.

Every time they ring I feel as though time slows and I am in a movie. I wish they would never stop and that I could just listen forever. They echo not only in the real world, but ever so softly in my heart, softly pulling at the emotions. Honestly there is no good way to describe them. It is an experience one must have all for him or herself, and it is an experience I would go out of my way to hear.

Granted I lived without the bells till now, but now that I have heard them… I don’t believe I can stop. They make me ponder and think every night of beauty, serenity, power, grace, love, hope, peace, wonder, awe, and most of all…….. they make me consider becoming Catholic.

14 degrees when I left on my bike for work…

20 when I got home.

Isn’t God’s weather amazing!

I just had to say I find it ironic and oxymoronic everytime I see a Portland City Vehicle.

Every time I see one it says “The City that Works.”  Now I find this humorous since Portland’s unemployment rate is at 10.7%. Obviously Portland isn’t the city that works.

(I’m sure this joke has been cracked before, but as to where I don’t know cause I certainly haven’t heard it)

With that said I do feel extremely thankful to have a job, and not only to hold a job but to be working full time at a Great job. God has definitely provided for me.

So though the city of Portland might not work, I am thankful that I do.